Gloom, Doom, and the rest of it

Ella’s been swearing away here for long enough, methinks. As anyone who has caught sight of me lately already knows, Sean and I are expecting Foetus #2 in February. That, along with other upheavals, has kept me from the blog, but I’m hoping to be back at least periodically throughout the rest of my pregnancy (no promises about how long Ella might be swearing away after that).

So, pregnancy. In some ways this pregnancy has been easier than my last, and in others it’s been much, much harder. Physically it’s been easier, because I know what to expect. I haven’t been so anxious about whether the baby will be healthy, or what horrendous chromosomal abnormality he or she may have, or having nightmares about the baby being born with unsurvivable defects as I was with Ella, because I frankly just don’t have time. To be honest, it’s probably a good thing childbirth is so incredibly painful, because if it weren’t, I probably couldn’t be bothered to stop what I’m doing long enough to *have the baby*.

The downside of this pregnancy is that I seem to be much less able to handle the seemingly boundless pressure to make sure Sean’s office, my business, and the household are all running effectively before this baby makes his or her arrival. Things are in a constant state of flux depending on which entity I can afford to pay close attention to in any particular week, and I realize now that I’ve been in denial for the last two months about just how bad I feel. Nearly constant anxiety, moments of panic, and entire days of feeling hopeless and sad finally came to a boiling point, mercifully on a day when I happened to have an appt with my midwife that Sean could attend. Poor Sean was taken aback by just how bad it’s been as I sat in the midwife's office and cried, since he’s seen all of this mostly manifest itself as irritability and short-temperedness and I’ve been able to keep the anxiety and despair mostly under wraps. My midwife was – and is – supportive and assured us that this is a perfectly normal reaction to so much stress during pregnancy, but also is concerned about it getting worse if I’m not able to offload some responsibility. Another major concern is the postpartum situation may be magnified if I’m going into the birth feeling like this.

SO, why am I posting this all over the Interweb? Why haven’t I already told any of you any of this? Why in the hell can’t I just ask for help, for Christ’s sake? Because on days when I feel relatively sane and okay, the last thing I want to do is talk about how bad I really feel. I know it will lead to a breakdown each and every time I try to explain it, and the thought of doing that over and over is just too much for me to bear. My rational self realizes the folly in that reasoning, and knows that nobody can help or support me if they don’t even know what’s going on (Sean included). Unfortunately my rational self is simply not in charge right now. I hope everyone I love can understand that, and understand that I don’t think I’m really in a position to ask for help. Despite how ridiculous it sounds, having to ask for help – just thinking about WHAT I would ask someone to do – compounds the anxiety.

Having said all of that, please be assured that I’m not ready to hurl myself from a cliff. I’m doing what I think my rational self would consider the smart thing – admitting that I’m really struggling. If I don’t return phone calls, it’s not because you’re not important to me. It’s more likely because I’m having a bad day and the very thought of trying to sound normal on the phone is crippling. Or it’s because I’m up to my eyeballs in felt, fleece, or dental stuff and I’m busy putting out this or that fire.

The bottom line is that I know I will be fine, but I may need everyone to cut me a little slack while I try to survive the next few months with my sanity intact.

With gloom, doom, and the rest of it,

Dana

Sailor Ella

The hilarity just keeps on coming over here, so here's another snippets post, courtesy of Ella:

"Swear to God, slap my face again," said to her baby doll. (Go right ahead and put those Mother of the Year certificates in the mail...) My mom witnessed this one, and she told me Ella said it with the utmost tenderness and love, and was not in the least bit threatening. I think she maybe was trying to reassure me that Ella wasn't mimicking a horribly abusive mother.

"Sunabitch, my toe!" falling to the ground and holding her toe, mimicking what she had seen me do minutes earlier when she came running over to me and caught the top of my big toenail with the underside of her shoe and I was mortally wounded. She "sunabitch"'d one toe, then took off her other shoe and "sunabitch"'d the other. (Again, those certificates can be sent directly to me.)

Why I feel it's appropriate to post about my two-year-old's swearing sort of escapes me, especially since I'm the one she spends her days with and she's clearly not picking this up on PBS. For some reason I'm apparently totally willing to publicly implicate myself in all of this. For those of you who don't see Ella regularly, she really doesn't do this terribly often, but when she does it is so hilarious - mostly because she says these things in exactly the same way I do - that they're what I remember most and therefore what gets relayed to all of you. If you have children, I'm sure you'll understand how this sort of thing happens, and if you don't have children, why don't you just shut the hell up about my parenting skills?

I'll do my best to be a more civilized example, and in the meantime, I'll continue to share my slip-ups, courtesy of our little parrot Ella Mae.

Ella-isms

As a follow up to the last post, below are several of Ella's latest gems of wisdom. I was reminded to publish this post this evening, when Sean gave Ella a brand new toothbrush, complete with ladybugs, to hopefully help with the nightly toothbrushing battle. Ella's first order of business: brush her belly, poke herself in the eye (after I told her not to poke herself in the eye because it would probably hurt, apparently to make sure I was telling the truth), stick it in her buttcrack, and brush Maggie's teeth.

“It’s a nice sunny day!” She says this every time we’re outside in the sunshine.

“Yes, Mama!” Her standard reply whenever I call for her. It seems so grown-up coming from such a little person.

“I want to hold you,” said when she wants us to hold her.

“Good job, Daddy!” said to Sean when he finished mowing the lawn last weekend.

“Going to let him go back to his family,” said each and every time she lets a bug go. “Family” is pronounced, “fwamwy”.

“Thank you, Mama. That so nice.”

“I brushing my hair so pretty so we can go to the zoo. My friends will be so proud of me!” Said as she was brushing her hair on the morning we met our playgroup at, you guessed it, the zoo.

“OH! He’s so cute! I hold him *every* time,” said of a cute little squirrel at the zoo.

“I going outside for a couple of whiles.”

The other day Ella was playing with the side of the garbage bin in the kitchen, and when I asked her not to do it, she looked me and with a sigh of exasperation, said, “I do it all the time.”

After responding to Ella calling for me from the other room:
Ella: “Don’t yell at me.”
Me, a bit surprised: “I’m not yelling at you, honey.”
Ella: “You’re yelling at me for days.”

At the Asian market this week, I couldn’t find the rice noodles I was looking for, and Ella, seeing that I was a little bit frustrated, asked what was the matter. When I told her, she put her hands up, shook her head, and said, “Oh, damn!” Naturally there was a very nice couple right next to us, who will no doubt nominate me for Mother of the Year.

One night this week we were trying to get Ella to brush her teeth, a previously enjoyable task which has for some reason turned into a nightly throw-down. This week my tactic has been to sing songs about brushing, one of which has a line that repeats the phrase “tooth decay”. “I yike tootie cakes!” she declared at the end of the song. That obviously worked really well.

Ella

I thought it was time I dedicated a post to our littlest and cutest member of the family, who is growing at an alarming rate and somehow getting cuter and more exasperating every day. When Ella was an infant I can remember asking anyone who I thought might give me an answer, “When will this get easier?”, and more than one person told me that it never gets easier. As soon as you master one challenge, another unexpected one rears its head, and that continues all the way through adolescence and early adulthood. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they told me, you’ll find yourself sometime in the near future longing for those days of trying to comfort an inexplicably crying baby in the middle of the night in exchange for the completely unreasonable and illogical toddler who has taken that baby’s place.

That little pearl of wisdom is proving true for us. In some aspects, our days are so much easier now than when Ella was a baby. Now I can actually get a few things done during the day in those moments when she’s happily entertaining herself. She’s mobile and can communicate now, which is a definite improvement on constantly having to guess what was wrong, but as she becomes more independent, the fits become more baffling. One assumes that if an infant is crying, there is some tangible thing that they need and when they get whatever that is, they will be comforted. One should just throw that assumption right out the window with a toddler. There is often absolutely *nothing* wrong, but that is no reason not to throw an epic 45-minute screaming and kicking fit.

Despite the frustrations that come with living with a toddler, there are far more happy moments than sad, and more achievements than setbacks. Although she’s a total firecracker, Ella is incredibly polite, and she melts my heart every day with her cute little pleases and thank-you’s and no-thank-you’s and ‘scuse me’s. She’s also quite expressive, and squeezes her tiny arms around my neck at least once a day and says, “I love you, Mama.”


Our most exciting Ella news of late is that she is potty trained! WOOHOO! She's still using her little potty at home, but isn't opposed to using a regular toilet when we're out and about. We've taken several trips away from home with her in underpants, including an entire morning at the zoo, and I'm so proud to say she hasn't had a single accident and is great about telling me when she needs to go. Her only slips in the past couple of weeks have been at home when we're outside, but that seems to have passed. (Thank goodness, because I was definitely not cool with her dropping trou in the middle of the driveway to pee...) Although she still wears a diaper at night and at naptime, they are almost always dry when she wakes up. It was a bittersweet moment putting her diaper changing pad in storage in the basement. I so clearly remember when she was so tiny she could practically swim on that changing pad, and now she doesn't even need it anymore.

Ella has an insatiable thirst for learning, and I’m constantly amazed at how quickly she’s picking up letters. She knows at least 10 letters now, and is starting to learn their sounds. “F says ‘fuh, fuh, fuh’,” she’ll say. Perhaps the most surprising part is that I really haven’t been trying to teach her letters because I assumed she might be a little young for that. But she picked up “W” on Sesame Street one day, and the floodgates opened. She started pointing out every “W” she saw, on street signs, in books, and on TV. When I realized she was interested, I started to point out other letters, and she has picked them up incredibly quickly. Now she’s even making out letters in her own scribbles and paintbrush strokes and delighting in her seemingly magical ability to “make letters”. I do hope this is a precursor to a life-long love of reading and learning, and that she keeps that thirst for knowledge.

Thanks in large part to Wah Wah Jill, Ella absolutely loves pretending, and wants every inanimate object she comes across to “talk”. When playing blocks, she’ll pick up one block, declare it the mommy, and get a smaller block to be the baby. “I want them to talk,” she’ll say, directing me to play the part of the baby block. She loves bugs, flowers, and birds, and wants to know the name of each new one she sees. Surprisingly, she actually remembers the names, and rather than calling a bird, “bird”, she calls it a robin or a sparrow or a dove or an owl, and so on. She knows the names of all of the bugs we see regularly, and names each flower in our yard.


I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be with Ella each day and to share in her little victories and discoveries. My adventures in motherhood thus far have taught me that although there will always be challenges in parenting, it is so important to appreciate the time we have with our little people in the present. It’s impossible not to think about how much better it will be when they sleep through the night, or are finally potty trained, or whatever the challenge of the day happens to be, but I am trying my best to be aware of the treasure that is Ella’s childhood while she’s still a child, rather than wishing it away in hopes of easier times. I hope I will look back at this entry someday when an impossible teenager has replaced our precocious toddler and we’re longing for the days of two-year-old hissy fits about nothing, and remember those soft little arms around my neck and that adorable small voice telling me she loves me.


The gorgeous photos in this post are courtesy of Kelly Bennett, one of the most talented women I've known. Our experience with her was magical and I couldn't recommend her more highly. You can find her and more of her work at www.kellybennettphotography.com.

Fence

Sean and I spent the entire weekend either actively building the fence or going to the hardware store for the seventeenth thing we forgot to get the last time we were there. The adventure started Thursday, with a trip to Sutherland's Lumber while Ella was at Sage’s house playing with Annica (thanks, Sage!!). Apparently I am not capable of counting higher than 21, because we were six 2x4’s shy of what we needed. We picked those up at Lowes, but good lord, we had to look at every single board they had to find six that were relatively straight and not split or otherwise wrecked.

Just as we were getting ready to dig postholes Thursday afternoon and while I was at Ace Hardware buying screws (which we had of course forgotten at Lowes), Maggie went right ahead and had a seizure. We rushed her to the vet, and there went the rest of Thursday. Incidentally, Maggie seems to be fine and we’re not going to worry too much unless she has another one.

Friday was posthole diggin’ day, and we went right to work in the morning. Our neighbor, Janessa, was sweet enough to take Ella to the park for a couple of hours to allow us to get a jump on things. We thought it best to do the major sawing while Ella was gone, so we used the table saw to rip our 2x4’s into 1x4’s (a huge cost-saving measure, as redwood 1x4s are even more expensive that 2x4s), then began to dig our postholes. Ella came home from the park in one of those moods, and we got very little done the rest of the afternoon. All we were able to manage was bracing the posts on the north side before calling it a day.

Ella sacked out in the lawn chair after
a hard day of being completely impossible.

Saturday morning we hit it early to pour concrete in the postholes. Just as we were ready to mix concrete, we realized that we were short, oh, about a thousand pounds. Literally. One. Thousand. Pounds. Attach trailer to car and go back to Lowes. Again. Bring trailer home a thousand pounds heavier, and proceed with concrete mixing. (Thank goodness for that trailer.)

Cue Ella to completely FREAK OUT. She must have sensed we needed to get something accomplished because she was whining and crying and yelling, “Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!! MAAAAMMMAAAAAA!” all day long. Despite heavy protests, I forced the nap issue and although she didn’t sleep for long at all, she woke up much happier. We got all our posts set and stained all the ones on the north side.

Fence posts set on the north side of the yard.

Sean stayed out until dark mixing and pouring concrete into the postholes on the west side while Ella and I scrubbed the backyard off of ourselves and walked over to the great new Thai place on the corner for takeout.

Sean finishing up after a marathon post-setting
session on the west side of the yard.

My plan was to stain the posts on the west side of the yard early Sunday morning, because the weather forecast called for afternoon thundershowers. It was pouring rain when I woke up at 7:00 and didn’t stop for the rest of the day, so we stayed in and I made apple-cinnamon pancakes for our big Sunday breakfast. If you’d like to give them a try, just add one grated apple and 1 tsp cinnamon to your usual pancake recipe, and also use brown sugar instead of white sugar. After a couple of grocery runs, we spent most of the day drinking frozen cocktails, sewing, and cleaning the house.

Ella stomping in puddles in the rain with
her fun ladybug umbrella from Grandma Janet.

Late Sunday afternoon after the rain had subsided a bit, we tried to figure out what in the Sam-hell we were going to do to hang the 2x4’s between our posts. We first had to devise a clamping/bracing system, after nearly killing each other trying to drill pilot holes for our toe-nailed screws at wonky angles with nothing but a profanity-laden prayer holding the boards in place. This situation is a sure-fire recipe for a divorce. I saved our marriage and worked out a system by clamping a scrap piece of 2x4 behind the 4x4 posts and clamping our 2x4 rail to that. It held the board perfectly flush with the back of our posts and left our hands free to drill pilot holes and drive screws. By the time we figured all of this out, and between Ella having total meltdowns, we had exactly ONE 2x4 rail hung when our only 7/64” drill bit, which was far too short anyway, snapped in half. Cue Dana’s total freak out.

2x4 rail hung on 4x4 post, using toenailed screws
so hardware won't show on opposite side. Bamboo
panels are hung on this face of the 2x4 rail, then
sandwiched between this 2x4 and a 1x4 on the
facing side.

Finally, we arrived at Monday morning and I calmly informed Sean that if we didn’t have bamboo hung on the north side by the end of the day, I was moving. We started the day, as all our others, at Lowes buying more drill bits and two more 2x4’s, because I still can’t count. After hanging three 2x4 rails across the bottom of our fence, I arrived at the unfortunate conclusion that our yard slopes even more than I thought it did and had to remove all the rails and reposition them. After hanging three more rails across the top of the fence, I came to the equally unfortunate conclusion that due to the slope of the yard, the top of the 4x4 corner post, which is attached to our neighbor’s fence, was about 4 inches too short. We now have a new post on that corner, and were only set back an hour.

Ella having a great time going back and forth
to "Fritz's yard" through the peeled-back
chainlink fence on the south side of
our yard. Fritz is our neighbor's dog.

Before we could hang the bamboo panels, all of the 2x4 rails had to be stained, as did the posts on the west side of the yard so we can hang the rails on that side in the next few days. I hung the bamboo panels using my awesome nail gun (thanks, Sean!) before calling it quits to grill a much-deserved steak for Sean and portabella for me. It took seemingly forever to get to this point, but my goodness, is it ever gorgeous. It’s turning out even more beautiful than I had imagined. The backyard I’ve been dreaming about for the last 5 years is finally materializing.

Staining the top 2x4 rails before hanging
the bamboo panels.

First bamboo panel hung! This photo is taken
from our side of the fence, and the 1x4 facing
at the top & bottom of the panel is not yet attached.

Fence as seen from our neighbors' yard
(north side). Posts will be cut flush with the
top rails and a 2x6 cap will cover the top of the
fence, but otherwise this side looks nearly complete.

A closer look at the fence from Dennis & Richard's side.

A Return to the Blog and the Garden!

After a bit of a blogging hiatus, I'm back. The past month was a flurry of out-of-town visitors, trips to Fillmore, yard work, and sewing, sewing, and more sewing. I really thought the Piddies orders would slow down as we get closer to summer, but apparently I was wrong. With lots of return customers and referrals from past customers, things in the Etsy shop are hopping. It's great news for our bank account, and bad news for the house & yard. Mainly just the house, because I'm dying to be outside, so that's where I spend every minute I'm not sewing.

The vegetable garden has been great fun this year, and we've been reaping a small harvest already of greens, radishes, and herbs. It's amazing what a few fresh herbs will do to wake up inspiration in the kitchen. The early part of spring was so cold that despite planting in early March, a lot of the plants are only now in full swing. This has thrown a wrench into what I thought were brilliant plans for planting the warm weather vegetables after the cool weather vegetables had been harvested, and I am now having to be a bit creative about where I plant things. Squashes and cucumbers are being nestled in amongst the radishes in anticipation of the radishes being harvested by the time the squash gets large enough to take up significant space. The peppers have been planted in the same bed as the tomatoes, which should work well considering the tomatoes are trained to grow on a trellis in the center of the bed, leaving the edges free for peppers. With any luck, it will still work out well and we'll have a nice variety of veggies this summer and fall.

Radishes, spinach, and lettuce in the closer bed;
herbs, strawberries, beets, and cabbage in the far bed.
Two other unseen beds hold tomatoes, peppers, carrots, and greens.

Young lettuce.

Ella and I planted our beans today. It proved to be so much fun for Ella that I found her repeatedly digging up the seeds we'd planted so she could plant them again...and again...and again. Sean's genius idea of giving her some small pebbles to "plant" worked like a charm, so hopefully the beans have been exhumed for the last time.

Planting (and replanting) Purple King beans around
the outer perimeter of the pea tower.

We planted two bean varieties today, both pole beans, and will plant the bush beans as soon as there is space in one of the beds - likely where the lettuces are now. My hope is that planting the Purple King pole beans around the outer perimeter of my pea tower will make double use of that space. The peas will have been harvested by the time the beans grow large enough to set fruit (I hope I hope). I also built two bean towers nestled in the spaces between my garden beds, using 6-foot poles, some small pieces of iron flower bed edging I haven't been using, and twine. They turned out quite lovely, and the ornamental Apricot Runner beans should be beautiful on them in a few weeks. The seeds for the Apricot Runners were some of the most gorgeous I've ever seen, and Ella had great fun playing with them before we planted them.

Seeds for the Apricot Runner beans.

Planting and laughing.


Peeking through the pea tower.

Ella so wanted to play inside the bean towers ("It's a HOUSE, Mama," she told me again and again as I was pulling her out from what looked to me like a twine prison) that I was inspired. What fun a little bean "teepee" would be for little ones! The bean towers I made on a bit larger scale would be great, and any quick-growing climbing vine would work well, provided it's not prone to cause skin irritation. Beans would actually be just about perfect, and probably a lot of fun to go inside the fort to harvest! I'm going to scout the yard tomorrow to see if I can find a good place to give it a try.

One of the bean towers, about 5 feet tall and
just under 2 feet in diameter.

An empty snail shell perched on the top of the bean tower,
head-on-a-stake style, in hopes that it will strike fear
into the hearts of those slimy bastards and make them
think twice about eating my tender bean shoots.

I'd love to hear from you about your own gardens! What are you growing, and how do you deal with limited space?

Potty Training Resumed

After being offered a little potty by a friend of mine in our playgroup, I decided to resume potty training in the hopes that it wouldn't end quite so dramatically as it did last time. I'm happy to say that Ella ROCKED it! She went all on her own all day long. The only caveat is that she had to be naked almost the entire time, because it seemed to feel like business as usual when I had her wearing underpants (plus she loves any excuse to be "nuuuuude! I want to be nuuuuude!"). I have been resisting getting the separate little potty and have thus far been trying to get her to use the regular toilet with a potty seat, but it hasn't been consistent because she can't get onto the tall toilet without help. Although I don't relish the thought of having to transition from the little potty to the regular toilet, I am thrilled that she actually likes using the little potty, which she calls the "Fairy Potty" because it has fairy stickers on it, courtesy of my friend's little girls.

The day was going swimmingly, Ella was using the potty and I was actually getting housework, laundry, and Piddies done. As I was packaging a pair of bunnies and a pair of mice to ship this afternoon, Naked Ella climbed up on a chair to see what I was doing. She wanted to help cut the packing tape, so I let her use the small scissors. She asked if she could cut her hair, and when I told her, "Of course not!" she responded with her usual, "Why?" I replied that she would look silly if she cut her hair and left it at that. She climbed down, seemingly satisfied, and went over to her little table where her crayons and crafting supplies are. I turned around just in time to catch her with her little pinking shears up against her head, cutting away. I got them away from her just in the nick of time, and when I asked her why she was cutting her hair, she said, "I want to look silly." Naturally.

A few minutes after the scissors incident, she was racing around the house laughing and giggling in that hilarious high-pitched toddler way, and I was chuckling listening to her while loading the dishwasher. I noticed on her third lap that she was in hot pursuit of the poor cat, and worse, that she had found one of our spray bottles full of water and was unleashing its full fury on poor Daisy. As I was trying to catch her to get the spray bottle away, Ella cornered Daisy and yelled, "ANY QUESTIONS!?" before spraying her in the face, like some kind of tiny, naked Dirty Harry.

We're excited for Easter, and Ella has been thoroughly enjoying the "pwizes" she has received in the mail from Wah Wah Janet, Grandma Betty, Aunt Marie ("Aunt Puh-mie"), and Uncle Denny (who totally outdid himself with the packaging this time - see photo). I'm planning to color Easter eggs with her on Friday at Wah Wah Jill's house, assuming I get my act together in time to actually *get* to Wah Wah Jill's house before Easter. I've got about 6 pairs of bunnies to cobble tonight, and tomorrow I have to go get the little "pwizes" for Ella's Easter basket. My insane belief that I can do about twice as much as I actually can strikes again.

Showing off the rather hefty box sent by Uncle Denny (and Uncle Richard by proxy).


Sporting some of her fun new Easter "pwizes".

Below is a video (or as Ella says, an "Ella bido-eo") of Ella at her finest: washing her hair with the handsoap at the bathroom sink, singing some songs, and performing several examples of her "picture smile". Enjoy!

More Adventures in Toddlerhood

We've had a relatively funny couple of days at the Cougar-Mellencamp household, with Ella in top form. We've recently been painting with watercolors at her easel, which is her new favorite activity. She likes me to draw shapes, animals, and people, and then she paints them. Today I stepped into the kitchen to get a towel to wipe her hands, and while I was gone she plunged 2 strawberries into the paintbrush rinse cup and painted both of her ears blue (including quite far INSIDE her ears).

Ella really hasn't been much of a fan of snow until this last snow storm, when she actually *walked* in the snow for the first time willingly. It figures that she'd decide to love it right when we're probably not going to get much more.

Ella loves to tell stories and sing songs lately. Today her favorite story went like this:

"One day, Little Ella spilled the cat food allllllll over the kitchen, and Mama cleaned it up. Baby Bear got in the box and got dirty. Ella gave him a bath in the bathroom sink and he was alllllll clean. The end."

Incidentally, that story was mostly true, and happened a couple of weeks ago. (Baby Bear is a little stuffed baby polar bear that the Uncles next door gave her. She loves him.)

Her favorite songs of late are "Rock a Bye Baby", "Where Has My Little Dog Gone", and what she calls, "The Train Song", which goes like this:

"Choo choo the big fwain is coming down the fwack. Stop....and yisten, stop....and yisten!"

As she gets older and grows out of her baby things, I gradually move them downstairs into storage. Today I was trying to move some bibs and burp cloths that have somehow remained in her dresser, and Ella spotted me. My attempt was completely unsuccessful, as she grabbed what she could out of my hands and declared, "These are my FAVORITE, Mama! I NEED these!"

Last week I was so eager to sew something other than slippers that I made an easy 2-piece pattern and made this little dress out of some cotton I've had lying around. It turned out so cute and was so quick & easy that I think I'll make more. Ella loves the pocket, but thinks it should have two pockets (note to self for next time!):

The food battle remains a battle, and I'm not sure if we'll ever win. I suppose she won't starve herself completely, so as long as she seems to be thriving on milk, air, and fruit, I guess that's okay. She does love new foods that she's either never had or hasn't had in a long time, and I'm always looking for some tricky new way to prepare veggies so she'll eat them. So far the dip idea has flopped - she just dips whatever veggie or chicken strip or breadstick she happens to have, licks the dip off, and repeats. It has completely failed to entice her to eat whatever she's dipping. I can usually convince her to eat a new pasta dish, so I invent new ones at least once a week. Tonight was fusilli with a tomato cream sauce with caramelized onions and garlic. It was quite good, and a hit with Ella. The recipe is below, both to share and so I don't forget what I did. We all, including Ella, really love garlic, so there is a LOT in this recipe, but it does mellow quite a bit as it caramelizes with the onions (and slicing rather than mincing it keeps it in check as well). Feel free to use as much or as little as you prefer. This would be great with a handful of fresh basil stirred in at the end, but unfortunately it's not basil season just yet. When they're in season, I would definitely use fresh tomatoes rather than canned. I was thinking this would probably be quite good served over chicken as well for those who are watching carbs or just not huge pasta fans.

Tomato Cream Sauce with Caramelized Onions & Garlic

2 tbsp olive oil
6 tbsp butter, divided
1 large onion, peeled & sliced 1/8" thick
1 head of garlic, cloves peeled & sliced
2 Tbsp sherry wine
~1/2 cup dry white wine
1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes
1 cup cream (could substitute half & half)
~3/4 cup grated parmesan or grana padano cheese
salt & pepper to taste

Heat olive oil and 2 tbsp butter in a large saute pan and add onions and garlic. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until onions begin to caramelize, about 20 minutes, adding water 2 tbsp at a time if pan becomes too dry. Add remaining butter, sherry & white wine to pan, bring to a boil and cook about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes, cream, and half of the cheese. Reduce heat and simmer for about 15 minutes. Stir in remaining cheese and season with salt & pepper to taste before serving.

Cream of Potato Soup

I threw together this soup this weekend with some odds and ends we had on hand, and it turned out great! I decided to post it here so I don't forget what I did. :)

Cream of Potato Soup

1/2 lb bacon, chopped into 1/2" pieces (well, apparently I use bacon in absolutely everything)
2 Tbsp butter (feel free to omit to reduce fat - but why would you do that?)
1 sweet onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
5 - 6 Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 yam, peeled and chopped
1 cup chicken stock (or 1 15 oz. can, if that's what you have on hand)
~2 cups milk
1 cup half & half
1/4 cup chopped fresh chives (scallions would work too if you don't have a chive plant outside your kitchen door)
Salt & pepper to taste

Brown bacon in a large pot. Remove bacon from pot, and pour off all but ~3 Tbsp bacon grease. Add butter, onion and garlic and saute until onions are translucent. Stir in potatoes, yams, chicken stock, and milk, and simmer until potatoes & yams are tender. Using an immersion blender, puree about half of the soup, or alternatively, use a regular blender. If using a regular blender, puree 1/2 the soup (be careful and cover with a dishtowel!) and return it to the pot. Stir in half and half and cook until heated through (don't boil). Stir in chives, and salt & pepper to taste. Serve topped with crumbled bacon.

This was delicious served with a salad and freshly made garlic bread, and I loved the added color and sweetness of the yams.

I Don't Like Creamy Meat

"Ow. I bonked my noggin." 3/23/09

"No! I yike milk. I don't yike creamy meat," trying to convince me to give her milk instead of her breakfast of Cream of Wheat. 3/25/09

"AHHHH! Don't want Maggie to smell my fruit snack!" 3/22/09

"Ella do it by self." Every single day of our lives.

UPDATE:

I thought "creamy meat" would be the funniest thing I heard from Ella today, but apparently I was wrong. As I was laying down with her for a nap this afternoon, she was her usual crazy self and not exactly in nap mode, so after telling her several times that it was time to settle down, I held her up so she could see my face. In a very I-mean-business sort of voice, I said, "Ella Mae..." Without missing a beat, Ella said, "I swear to God!" So, I guess I'll cross that little phrase off of the list of things I can say around Ella.

One of Those Days

Today started as yesterday left, just after midnight. I was sitting at my desk before bed, admiring the new brochure I designed for Sean's office. We were planning to send it out today as a direct mail campaign to 13000 people in Utah County, and I was thinking that if I were looking for a dentist, this would be exactly the kind of office where I'd like to go. Then I noticed the typo. The hideous, glaring typo that I had somehow missed over proofread after proofread. Right on the front panel of the brochure, our office address is listed as LAYTON, not Lindon. Those of you who live in Utah know that Layton is about an hour or so north of Lindon, and therefore people in Lindon will probably not be terribly interested in a dental office in *&?#$@& Layton. I ran into the bedroom, nearly in tears, to confess to Sean. He was his usual wonderful, understanding, downplaying self, and assured me it wasn't the end of the world. He convinced me to come to bed, where he held me while I spent the night tossing and turning, wondering how I could have made such an awful mistake, and having nightmares that I had gotten the phone number wrong too (I didn't, thank goodness). With some help from our great mailing people at World Wide Mailing, we can solve it. But it's not going to be the fabulous, polished, perfect brochure I had worked so hard for.

Ella was having one of those mornings when she woke up at 8:00. One of those, "NOOOOO! Go OUT! Don't get me out! Want DADDY!!!! Too bwight! Shut bwinds! Don't change my diaper! ELLA DO IT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" mornings when she has her first full-blown fit in her crib seconds after she wakes up. I wanted to get her up and get to the grocery store early to get a jump on my errands, but she wasn't having it. We went anyway, and what should have been an hour-long trip took over two hours. Part of the problem was trying to rent a steam cleaner for my area rugs and dining room chairs. We're having a dinner party on Saturday and I'd like the place to look as nice as possible, and the rugs have needed to be cleaned for a while now. It was about as easy to rent this steam cleaner as I imagine it would be to rent a leer jet. We waited in line for ages, finally got the thing rented, and asked the service guy to hold it while I did the rest of my shopping downstairs.

The shopping went fine for the most part, other than me suffering from a bout of delayed-onset placenta head and having to run back and forth across the grocery store a hundred times. We finally got to the checkout, and Ella had had enough. Enough again. After the "enough" she'd had upstairs at the service desk, and the "enough" she'd had while we bought some pansies for the pots outside, and "enough" she'd had at the dairy case. Now she had had "enough" with the checkout. She was trying to stand up in the front part of the cart so she could push the buttons on the credit card machine, while I was quickly loading groceries into my bags to placate the impatient people who had been drawn like moths to a flame to the express checkout immediately after the sympathetic checkout lady had allowed me to go through with my 1.2 million items. In order to avoid a head injury, I lifted Ella from the front part of the cart into the main part, where she couldn't reach the credit card machine and couldn't get out. I finished bagging the groceries and turned to lift the last bag into the cart. There sat little Ella Mae unloading an entire carton of eggs around her, gleefully chanting, "Eggies! Eggies! Eggies evooeewhayooo!" By the grace of god, none of them broke and I caught her just as she was preparing to launch one overboard. As we walked away from the checkstand, she yelled, "Thank you, nice yady!" to the checkout woman.

The rest of the day went about the same way, Ella alternating between positively infuriating to totally disarming. The problem was partly Ella, partly me, and partly the Leer Jet Steam Cleaner that worked half the time and the other half puked out its contents onto an almost-clean floor. After taking over some groceries and flowers for Richard, our neighbor who is finally returning tomorrow from what seemed a very long winter away (we have to wait a few more weeks for Dennis, sadly), I sat with a glass of wine watching Ella and Maggie chase each other around, Ella half-naked, squealing and giggling with Maggie at her hip, while Sean got her bathed and ready for bed. Thank goodness for a fabulous partner who comes home from a long day at work and immediately takes over, rescuing a tired, exasperated wife from One of Those Days.

Backyard and photos

The seeds *finally* arrived for my spring garden, so in go the peas, arugula, lettuces, spinach, and radishes. Hooray! I'm so excited to get the yard cleaned up, and especially for the backyard. We have 1500 lbs of bamboo sitting in the garage just waiting to become a fence, 6 raspberry and blackberry bushes waiting to produce my future jams, jellies, pies, and crepe fillings, and I'm sure there's some sod out there somewhere just begging to be my new tiny lawn. It will be so great for Ella to have a nice place to play in the backyard, and I can't wait for the backyard barbeques!

While I dream of a finished backyard, here are a few photos:

Ella and her favorite guy, Connor.

Connor helping Ella bite her teething ring (the teething ring has recently re-emerged as an acceptable alternative to chewing on scissors, nails, and knives).

More of the "picture smile".

A Whole Warren of Bunnies!

As bunnies tend to do, the bunny slippers have multiplied and taken over the Cougar-Mellencamp household. I spent this week making bunnies in every color of the rainbow, and loving every minute of it - they are SO CUTE!






You can see more of the bunnies at my Etsy shop. Happy weekend!

Sesame Crusted Tuna "Burgers" with Maple-Soy Glaze and Wasabi Aioli

Dinner tonight! A deceptively easy "gourmet" meal, and one of my favorites. This was inspired by the tuna burger at Acme Burger, and adapted from other seared-tuna appetizer recipes I've tried in the past.

Sesame Crusted Tuna "Burgers" with Maple-Soy Glaze and Wasabi Aioli

1/4 Cup maple syrup (gotta use the real stuff)
1/4 Cup soy sauce (I prefer low-sodium)
2 6-7 oz fresh tuna steaks - ahi, albacore, or other sushi-grade tuna
Sesame seeds
2 ciabbata rolls or onion rolls
1/4 Cup mayonnaise
2 tsp - 2 tbsp wasabi paste (to taste)
lettuce and avocado for burgers

In a small saucepan, bring maple syrup and soy sauce to boil over medium-high heat. Boil until reduced by half, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally and watching for boil-over. Remove from heat. Rinse tuna steaks and pat dry. Sprinkle liberally with sesame seeds on both sides, pressing to adhere. Sear tuna steaks over medium-high to high heat in a heavy pan (I use a grill pan) until done to taste (I prefer very rare). Place on plate, allow to cool slightly, and pour maple-soy glaze generously over steaks. Stir together mayonnaise and wasabi paste to make wasabi aioli. Spread wasabi aioli generously on cut rolls, adding lettuce, avocado, and tuna steaks.

More Invisible Food!

We're all headed to Fillmore tomorrow morning to visit Wah-Wah and Papa (grandma & grandpa for those of you who don't speak Ella), and I had to make dinner with a few odds & ends. There's definitely a trend of cheesy pasta dishes these days, mostly because "noo-noos" are some of Ella's favorite foods so I know they're generally a safe bet. This recipe uses a basic bechamel sauce, which is really easy to adapt to your particular taste. I'm sure you could substitute whatever veggies you have on hand (carrots, cut into small cubes, cauliflower, etc.), and the quantities below are just suggestions - I'm sure I had less than a cup of asparagus. The chicken is optional (I added it to give Ella a bit of protein), but this is a great way to use up leftover chicken - shredded would work just as well as grilled & cubed. I pounded the chicken breast until it was relatively thin so it would cook quickly and not hold up the meal. Although I didn't have any on hand, a bit of chopped parsley would be nice stirred in right at the end. Enjoy!

Creamy Pasta with Spring Vegetables & Grilled Chicken

1 chicken breast, grilled & cut into cubes
1 lb package dried pasta, whatever shape you have on hand
1-2 cups broccoli florets
1-2 cups asparagus spears, cut into 1" pieces
1 10 oz package frozen peas
2-3 cloves garlic, crushed (or minced, whatever works best for you)
2 tbsp butter
1/4 cup flour
1 1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup heavy cream (this is totally optional)
3-4 oz cream cheese, cut into pieces
1 tsp lemon zest*
1/2 cup shredded parmesan or grana padano
salt & pepper, to taste

Bring large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Set timer for 2 minutes less than pasta cook time and add pasta to water. Meanwhile, melt butter in small saucepan and add garlic. Cook for 30 seconds and stir in flour. Cook butter/flour mixture for about one minute, stirring, to get rid of starchy flavor. Stir in milk, working flour clumps out as you stir. Bring to a boil and cook for 2-3 minutes, until sauce thickens considerably. Stir in cream cheese until it melts, then add cream and lemon zest and remove from heat.

When pasta is about 2 minutes from done, add broccoli & asparagus to pot. Cook for about a minute and a half, then stir in frozen peas. Test pasta for doneness, and reserve about a cup of the pasta water. Drain pasta & veggies and return to pot. Stir in bechamel sauce, adding enough reserved pasta water to thin the sauce to desired consistency. Stir in shredded parmesan or grana padano and salt/pepper to taste. Bon appetit!

*Lemon zest isn't critical, but it does add a nice brightness. I always zest any lemon I'm using for juice and keep the zest in a plastic bag in the freezer. Then I have it on hand when I need it and don't have to buy a lemon just for a tsp of zest.

Potty training SUSPENDED

After the most ridiculous 10 minutes I think I've ever spent, I've decided to suspend potty training, at least for the day.

This morning was a little rough on the potty training front, most likely because yesterday was crazy and we got out of practice. After she woke up, Ella wanted to wear her "big girl panties", and so began a day of potty training. She hasn't really been recognizing when she needs to go, so I've been using a timer with her and it has worked really well. Unfortunately it didn't work very well today.

While eating her cereal about 5 minutes after she woke up, she peed on my foot. And unfortunately, on the seagrass rug. I handled it fine, didn't have a fit, just cleaned it up, put some dry undies on her, and restarted the timer. When the timer went off, we went to the potty, but she didn't think she needed to go. 5 minutes later, "uh oh!" Again, cleaned up the wet spot (this time on the hard floor, thank goodness, no biggie). Reminded her that when she feels like she needs to go, we need to go to the potty. Restarted the timer again for a shorter amount of time. Went to the potty again, and again didn't need to go (probably because she'd already gone on the floor twice!).

You'd think that the past 10 minutes had been sort of ridiculous, but it was NOTHING compared to what was coming.

I was fairly certain there was *something* coming down the pipes, so I was paying close attention for any signals and thinking to myself that perhaps we should just get a diaper back on and continue that way. Ella had a fit about the diaper, so we had a little talk one more time (me thinking it wasn't doing any good because she obviously isn't understanding the "need to go" signal) and put the little Care Bears panties back on. I walked into the dining room to try to get some slippers done. And then all hell broke loose.

Ella started yelling from the hallway - right outside the bathroom - about poop on her foot. "Great," I thought, and went to investigate. Sure enough, my worst potty training fear had been realized. Poop. All over her and the floor. Trying not to gag and cursing the fact that I was home alone with her, I picked Ella up and stood her in the tub. While she yelled about "POOP! EVERYWHERE!" (pronounced "evoo-whay-oo!", I cleaned her up and mentally prepared for cleaning up the floor. I took her out of the tub, dried her off, and told her to stay in the bathroom while I cleaned up the hallway floor. Walking into Ella's room to get her a diaper and silently pledging to try the potty training again tomorrow, I found Armegeddon. Poop. On the carpet. Not the carpet! ARGH!

While I was still contaminated, I cleaned up the mess in Ella's room, cursing under my breath. I moved from her room out into the hallway, disinfecting the floor as I went, grateful that Ella had gone into the living room and wasn't getting into any of it. As God is my witness, just as I finished cleaning the floor, in trots Ella, a hundred tiny wet footprints trailing behind her. Before I could wash my hands and get a diaper on her little bottom, she had PEED AGAIN! At this point it was just too ridiculous, and all I could do was laugh as I carried her to her room and *immediately* put a diaper on her (don't worry, I sanitized my hands first). I took the Windex into the living room to clean the hardwood, and found the big ol' wet spot right on the seagrass rug. Great. Until today, we've been lucky with the rug during potty training, and the spills that have happened have largely been me spilling my wine. I got another clean cloth diaper, put it on the wet spot, and began stepping on it to sop it up. Ella thought that was great, and wanted to step on it too. Fine, I thought, and let her do her part while I wiped up the floor.

"Wrap up baby!" I heard her say behind me, and was horrified to see that she had picked up the wet cloth diaper and was putting it on one of her stuffed animals. And herself. "NO! That's dirty!" I yelled as I ran over to get it from her. I took the cloth diaper to the kitchen and tossed it downstairs into the laundry room with the rest. As I walked back into the living room, Ella picked up the bottle of Windex and sprayed herself in the face.

Photos!

Swinging at the park with Sean.

Thinking about going down the slide. She decided against it.

At the playground.

Trying to remain grumpy after her nap.

Grumpy "just woke up" face.

Playing with Maggie in the driveway.

Ella's patented "picture smile".

Food and Baconday

I am thrilled to report that our little Ella Mae is as much a fan of *any* cheese as we are. Last night Sean and I revisited our old favorite meal of baguette with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, assorted cheeses, fruit, and wine. The cheeses on the menu were a washed-rind Rougette Landkase, which was lovely, and an English Shropshire Blue, which I would have enjoyed had it not tasted exactly like the whole dairy farm. I'm sure I've had Shropshire that was much creamier and lacking that rather unpleasant flavor, so I'll be looking for a brand other than Pilgrim's Choice next time.

We were excited to see that Ella enjoyed the meal as much as we do. Much like her daddy, she loves washed rind cow's milk cheese, which is about the stinkiest stuff there is. (Sean's favorite is Grayson , a washed-rind cheese with a strong flavor similar to Tallegio, but which tends to travel a bit better and we think tastes better by the time it gets to our table from the farm.) Ella's love of strong flavors is something that never ceases to amaze me. Who would think a toddler would love onions and garlic, pasta with garlic & clams, and stinky cheese?

In other food news, I tried something new for our "Baconday" breakfast this morning. Rather than the usual pancakes, I adapted my trusty Betty Crocker recipe and made Oatmeal Raisin Pancakes. They were delicious! I've posted the recipe below for anyone who'd like to give it a try. This recipe doubles beautifully.

Oatmeal Raisin Pancakes

1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tbsp vegetable oil
3/4 - 1 cup milk (or buttermilk* - even better!)
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup (heaping) rolled oats
3 tsp baking powder*
1/4 tsp salt
2 tbsp dark brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup raisins

Grind oats in a food processor until close to a floury consistency. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, and mix until well-combined. Add a bit more milk or buttermilk if necessary to achieve desired consistency. Cook on a 350-degree griddle until golden brown. Serve with maple syrup, cinnamon-sugar, or molasses.

*If using buttermilk, reduce baking powder to 2 tsp.

What's It to Ya?

Some hilarity from the past couple of days:

"What to ya, Mama?", Ella's version of our standard reply of "what's it to ya?"

"Oh, Mama. So silly," Ella said as I was laughing at the above comment.

"Ella WILL!" said to her daddy when he told her to quit doing something she wasn't supposed to do.

"NO! Mama, turn 'round. Don't look. Ella busy picking nose," said when I turned around to see why she was so quiet in the car.

"Guy kick NUTS! Run away!" repeating part of a story she heard her daddy telling me, about a guy who fended off a mugger by kicking him in the groin.

"How are you a-day sir?" singing her favorite part of "Where is 'pumpkin'".

"Ella have fit! Hit Daddy. Get big pubble. Go out car." Rehashing our rather dramatic trip to Barnes and Noble.

Favorite Things

This sunny day has me in such a great mood! I've been thinking about things that make me happy today, and decided to post a few here for reflection on a less-sunny day.

• Sunny days!
• The Bakery's incredible Choux La Creme (cream puff). Their choux pastry is some of the best I've had. Sean surprised me with one the other day and I just finished it with a late cup of coffee (they're gigantic). Delicious.
• Cute little Ella eating lunch! With a fork! I had to record this event for posterity.
• Listening to the birds chirping outside at the bird feeder.
  
• The feeling of having accomplished something. I just dug up my much-maligned patch of Star-of-Bethlehem, and am hopeful that I won't have to do it again this year.
• Sweet anticipation of my spring vegetable garden. On the list this spring: peas, lettuces, spinach, and a few other cool-weather tolerant veggies I haven't decided on.
• My raised garden beds! This is the first year that I won't have to do loads of work just to prepare the soil for a garden. My spring garden can actually happen!
  
• Ella hugging me this morning and saying, "I love you so."
• Last but certainly not least, a husband who is so incredibly supportive, helpful, and thoughtful. Sean calls me every single night on his way home from work to see if I need him to pick up anything. He cleans up my inevitably huge dinner mess every night. He takes Ella to the park on his days off so I can have some time to myself. He does all of the grocery shopping. He is in charge of Ella's bedtime and usually bathtime. And he surprises me with Choux La Creme!

Invisible Food!

Sean and I have a running joke about "invisible food". This pertains to my ability to conjure a meal out of seemingly nothing, with an empty fridge and a grocery list a mile long. I thought it would be fun to post these "invisible meals" here as they occur. I'd love to hear of your own invisible food!

Today's invisible food is a variation on a favorite comfort food, macaroni & cheese. Sean has renamed Sunday "Baconday", and has written it into the bylaws of our marriage that Sunday MUST involve bacon. Because I didn't make my usual big Baconday breakfast this morning, I made up for it at lunch. Tonight we'll have leftover pasta with a big salad & steamed veggies.

Pasta shells with cheese & bacon

1/2 lb. bacon, chopped into 1" pieces (smaller if you prefer)
1 lb. pasta shells (or any pasta you have on hand)
3 oz. cream cheese, cut into pieces
1 tbsp butter
1/4 - 1/2 cup milk
~1 Cup shredded cheese (I used Monterey Jack & Cheddar to make it toddler-friendly, but anything you have on hand will work)

Saute bacon until crispy, reserve 2 Tbsp bacon fat and drain off the rest of the fat. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted to water to a boil, cook pasta according to directions. Drain water from pasta, return cooked pasta to pot. Add bacon fat, butter, and cream cheese, stir until cream cheese begins to melt. Stir in 1/4 cup milk and shredded cheese. Stir over low heat until all of the cheese melts, adding more milk as necessary until sauce is at desired consistency. Stir in bacon and salt/pepper to taste.

Voila! Not gourmet, but edible. Sidenote: this would be even better with snipped chives. You could also begin with a basic bechamel sauce if you don't have much cheese on hand. Stir bechamel and whatever cheese you happen to have into pasta after draining and proceed.

Snippets from today

A few of Ella's gems today:

"Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAN," a song Ella made up about Peter Pan, sung complete with hilarious British accent, has evolved to, "Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAAAANTY," reflecting the recent potty training efforts.

"Good God, Maggie!" Exclaimed when Maggie emerged from the bathroom wet after a bath.

"I'm serious, Mama." (Serious pronounced "sewious".) Letting me know she would *really* like to have a tea party. Right now.

Potty Training Begins, and A Summary of a Marriage

Ella woke up this morning and told me she wanted to wear her "big girl panties" today, so I thought we'd give the potty training a concerted effort. She did really well for the first part of the morning, but after three accidents in a row I decided to give it a go again later. Wish us luck!

In the meantime, this relationship questionnaire is running rampant all over Facebook, so I decided to post it here.

What are your middle names?
My middle name is Eve, Sean's is Richard.

How long have you been together?
We've been together for just over 5 years, married for four and a half.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I met Sean in the Scary Chair at his former dental office, as a very phobic patient with what I thought was a giant cavity. I had been having nightmares that my teeth were turning black & falling out, so I asked the guy I was dating at the time to call his Friend the Nice Dentist and see if he'd see me. Sean and I were both in relationships at the time, so we didn't start dating for about two years, after we both found ourselves single.

Who asked whom out?
We went out as friends to get some sushi, so no one asked anyone out, per se. By the end of the night it was clear that we were headed down a more-than-friends road.

How old are each of you?
I'm 32, and Sean is 37.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Well, Sean is an only child, and I only have one brother so there's not much competition. We're lucky enough to live relatively close to my family, so we see my brother often.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
In the beginning, parenthood was definitely the most challenging situation we had faced as a couple. It continues to be a challenge, but now the biggest problem is that we don't get much time together, or much time to ourselves as individuals. It has certainly gotten much easier as Ella has gotten older and more able to express herself.

Did you go to the same school?
No. I went to the University of Utah, and Sean attended Augustana College for his undergraduate degree and Southern Illinois University for dental school.

Are you from the same home town?
No, but we're both from very small towns. I grew up in Fillmore, Utah, and Sean grew up in Elmwood, Illinois.

Who is smarter?
We both have our strengths. My memory is better (probably due to his multiple head injuries), but he is less likely to fly off the handle and explode, which is a much smarter way of dealing with things than I tend to do.

Who is the most sensitive?
See above and flying off the handle (me).

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Takashi is probably our top place, for sushi and in general, but we also love Chanon Thai for great, incredibly spicy food, and Fresco for a nice, intimate meal with great service.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Vanuatu.

Who has the craziest exes?
I don't think either of us have crazy exes, per se. Any imploding relationship results in some craziness, but the people themselves are perfectly rational, normal people.

Who has the worst temper?
No question, doubt, or competition. Me.

Who does the cooking?
I absolutely love to cook (nothing makes me happier than sitting down with a cuisine magazine or a cookbook to find new recipes), so I do most of the cooking, but Sean is great to take on the clean-up.

Who is the neat-freak?
I think messes bother me more than they do him, but I wouldn't necessarily call myself a neat-freak.

Who is more stubborn?
That's hard to say - we're both pretty darned stubborn.

Who hogs the bed?
Definitely me, but if he wouldn't try to get away from me I wouldn't have to chase him all the way over to the last sliver of his side of the bed.

Who wakes up earlier?
Sean, but he also goes to bed hours before I do. Nighttime is sewing time for me, so I'm often up until the wee hours.

Where was your first date?
Sushi at Shogun in Salt Lake, then back to his place to play pool.

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us are jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?
About 4 hours. Hahaha! We both knew almost immediately that we wanted to be together, so not long at all. I had moved into his house after 2 months, and we were married in 9 months.

Who eats more?
Sean, unless we're talking about ice cream.

Who does the laundry?
I do most of it, but Sean pitches in.

Who's better with the computer?
Definitely me. We grew up on either side of the huge recent leaps in computer innovation, so when I was a freshman in college setting up my first email account, he was already in grad school.

Who drives when you are together?
Sean. I'm not sure why, it just kind of worked out that way.