Because I don't have enough to do already....: April 2010

A photo post of Easter and the few days prior and after...

Last week, Ella was drawing a picture, and decided
to go ahead and write her name on it. By herself. For the first time!
This was not only her first attempt, but she had no help, and nothing
to look at. I was totally blown away!! I didn't even know she knew
how to spell it.

Unpacking the box of Easter prizes from Uncle Denny. Only a
cruel, cruel man packs a box for a 3-year-old full of Easter grass.
Or a man without kids. :) It quickly devolved into an Easter grass fight,
and lots of vacuuming (but it was sure fun!).

Some of the prizes - cute butterfly headband and
frog ("swog") fingerpuppets.

Ella decided Betty wasn't fancy enough...

Coloring Easter eggs at Wah Wah's house with cousin Connor.

Connor holding his new cousin Betty for the first time.

Ella making pancakes with Wah Wah.

Ella in the car on the way to Connor's house to play.
Sometimes I am blown away by how beautiful she is.

Aunt Tiffy showing Ella how to use the viewfinder.

Ella's favorite toy at Connor's house.

Connor the Stuntman, #1 of a series. This kid is seriously
almost indestructible, and totally fearless. There isn't a ledge he
won't hurl himself off of, an object he won't jump over, or a bike
he won't crash. When he and Ella play together, he throws himself
down dramatically in an expert stuntman crash, and Ella, not to be
outdone, carefully lowers herself to the floor in her own "crash".

Connor the Stuntman, #2.

Connor the Stuntman, #3.

Connor the Stuntman, #4: The Dramatic Finale.

Sweet little Betty Marie.

Ella in all her fanciness, blowing up a balloon.

Betty, fascinated by the ceiling fan.

Ella's self-portrait. Seriously, this sort of blew my mind.

Hunting for Easter eggs at Wah Wah's house.

Checking out the treats.

The girls in their Easter finery.

A kiss for "little Betts".

A fancy pose...

Jelly beans!

Betty & Wah Wah.

Ella doing an experiment ("'periment"). She wanted to know what
would happen if we mixed water & olive oil, so we tried it and found out!

Ella insisted I post the results of our 'periment so people would know
what happened. Be wowed, internet!

Betty after a bath. Ella saw that I might take a picture,
so she had to immediately remove her shirt and climb
up next to Betty.

Another "Take a picture of ME and Betty, Mama!" moment.

Trying on Daddy's shoes. She told me she was "going to work
to fix people's teeth."

It's tricky walking a mile in Daddy's shoes!

Sweet sleeping baby.

Ella & Betty

The first smile to be caught on film. So cute!

A sly little grin.

Work it!

The other day I stumbled across some letters I wrote to Ella when she was a baby. Reading them brought those early days of motherhood sharply back into focus, and I was struck by the contrast between the feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion I felt then, and my experience now. I've decided to post those letters here, with corresponding letters to Betty at the same ages. Although I only wrote a handful of them to Ella during her first year, I am so glad to have that detailed record of our early months as mother and child.
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March 23, 2007

Dear Ella,

Yesterday you turned two months old. I have been inspired by one of my favorite internet blogs to write you monthly letters to record the milestones in your little life. I really wanted to hand-write these, but you don’t sleep for long enough for me to write out an entire letter longhand. Thanks to the job I had before you were born, I am able to type like the wind (referred to as “fake typing” by my colleagues at the University), so this is going to be the best way for me to actually get the letters written. Nevertheless, I think hand-written letters are becoming a lost art and would like you to have some, so I promise to hand-write some of them.

The past eight weeks have been nothing like what I expected with a baby. Nor was your birth, by the way. I’m not sure I want to record for all time the heinosity (word coined by your Great Aunt Jamie) that was my labor and delivery, mainly because I’ve been told that women tend to forget about the pain and agony of labor and remember only the beautiful moment their baby was handed to them. This has been described by your Uncle Quint as “a forgetting mechanism you broads have”. We’ll talk later about why it is inappropriate to refer to women as “broads”. I have not yet reached that point of remembering only the precious parts of your delivery, but I’m holding out hope that I will, so we’re not going to talk about it just yet.

I will never forget the moment I knew your daddy was smitten with you. He had grown a goatee in the weeks before you were born, and truth be told, looks rather handsome with it. On the last day of our hospital stay, I handed you to him all bundled up in a swaddling blanket, and he held you to his chest. You immediately nuzzled your little face into his neck and tears welled up in his eyes. He decided immediately that he was going to have to shave that prickly goatee because he had a new baby girl to kiss and he didn’t want to scratch your face. I knew he would be a good father, but I am still amazed at the love he has for you. He is gentle and sweet, and every day I fall in love with him all over again when I see you in his arms.

Right now you are asleep in your swing. This is the swing your father and I thought you probably wouldn’t really need. BOY, were we wrong. That swing has saved all of our sanity, including yours. You have been what the baby books refer to as “fussy”. Personally, I don’t think “fussy” quite cuts it. I need a stronger word – something more like “banshee”. The past couple of weeks have actually been much better, but from about 10 days old until 6 weeks old, you cried most of every day. I have a feeling that this is largely due to the fact that your poor mother seems to be akin to a dairy cow and produces way more milk than any little body your size is designed to handle. You want to nurse for 30 minutes or so, but unfortunately you get all the milk you can stand after about 5 minutes. It took me about three weeks to figure this out, because no one told me what a “normal” amount of milk is. I’m quite astounded that my previously A-cup boobs are capable of this amazing feat, and while it’s a bit inconvenient for all of us that I’m producing more than you can handle, I have to admit I do appreciate being able to wear a normal-sized bra for once.

In the past two weeks you have stopped screaming quite so much and have allowed me some time to take a shower. There were many days in the first few weeks of your life when your father would come home from work exhausted only to find me even more exhausted, wearily bouncing you and singing to you in a scratchy voice. It never took more than two seconds of looking into my bleary, baby-weary eyes before he would take you in his arms and tell me to go get in the shower. I must have taken the longest showers in history in those weeks – sometimes 45 minutes just standing under the hot water praying to someone to make you more comfortable.

One of the sure-fire things that we’ve found to calm you down is singing. Even in my off-key voice, you love it. One day I was listening to the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack and found that you really liked one of the Appalachian hymns, Down in the River. I must have sung that song 10,000 times, until my voice was hoarse and scratchy and it was more chanting the words than singing. But for some reason, every time I would sing it, you would stop crying within the first verse and just stare at me. That singular ability to soothe you better than anyone else can took me by surprise. It was then that I realized this is what it means to be a mother. Of course you hear of mothers putting their children before themselves in all aspects of life, but it didn’t occur to me just how profound the love a mother has for her baby until I had you.

Now that you have started sleeping a bit longer in the night – sometimes as much as 6 or 7 hours at once! – and I’ve started getting a little rest, I actually enjoy our time together in the middle of the night and find my self reluctant to put you back to bed. I have spent so many hours looking down at your sweet, sweet face as you nurse that I have memorized every inch of you. The swirl of your ears, your cute little button nose, your enormous blue eyes and your perfect, cupid’s bow lips. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my entire life, and I was so taken aback by your beauty that I asked your grandma several times in that first week she spent with us if it was just me or if you really were that cute. I just couldn’t imagine any baby could be as beautiful as you, but I wondered if it was because I was looking at you through a mother’s lenses. Whatever the reason, you are still the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on, even when your darling little face is scrunched up and you’re screaming.

Love,
Mama

Of Note:

Nicknames:
Mama calls you Sweetheart, Sweets, Teensy, Little One, but most of all, Ella Mae.

Daddy calls you (get ready) Ellemenopee, Elevator, Elephant, Piglet (because you snorted so much in the first few weeks, and still do), Itty Bitty, Ella Bean, and Ella B.

Visitors:
Grandma Jill was with us for the first week of your life (thank GOD because I didn’t have a clue what to do and wouldn’t have so much as eaten lunch without her).

Grandma Janet was here March 10 – March 19 and loved spending time with you.

Eve and Charlie visited when you were 11 days old and brought us dinner.

Great Aunt Jamie and Great Aunt Jody visited in the hospital.

We went to visit my friend Caitlin and her baby Sabia (born Feb. 3rd) when you were three weeks old. We see them about once a week now and love our visits with them.
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April 7, 2010

Dear Betty,

Today you are 7 ½ weeks old, and I can’t believe how time has flown since your birth. I’m sure by now you’ve heard the story a million times, but you were born in the car in the hospital parking lot after a quick but intense 2-hour labor. Boy, what a difference that was from my 23-hour labor with your sister! From the moment you entered our lives, you’ve been nothing short of a joy. I fell hopelessly in love with you the moment I felt your tiny head as you were being born. We didn’t know your gender while I was pregnant, and so many people were so certain you were going to be a boy that I didn’t even bother to look after you were born. It was several minutes later, in the elevator on our way to labor & delivery in the hospital, that it finally occurred to me to check. I cried happy tears as I exclaimed, surprised, “It’s a girl!” Daddy and I were so thrilled to have another girl and so excited to give you your incredibly special name.

You’ve been a pretty easy baby from day one, with the exception of the night-time sleeping for the first 4 or 5 weeks. You were fine being put down anywhere during the day, but something about the night threw a wrench into the works. As soon as your little body touched the cradle mattress, your eyes flew open and that was it. So for the first nearly five weeks, you slept cradled in my arms in bed. It was so nerve wracking for me to sleep with you like that, and I didn’t get a whole lot of rest as I was constantly waking with a start to make sure you hadn’t shifted or somehow gotten buried in the covers. You never did, and as much as I loved having your tiny little body snuggled up next to mine as you nursed contentedly all night long, I was so relieved when you finally accepted being swaddled and started sleeping in your cradle next to our bed. You’re now often sleeping 6 or 7 hours at a stretch!

Daddy and I are both surprised at how different you look from your big sister, Ella. If you hadn’t been right with us the entire time in the hospital, I might seriously question whether you’d been switched. We couldn’t wait for the day in that first week when your head would round out and we could tell what you might look like. Nearly eight weeks have passed, and that day still hasn’t come. We have no idea which of us you look like, though you do bear more of a resemblance to my baby pictures than Daddy’s. Whomever you look like, we love those chubby cheeks, clear blue eyes, and that remarkably full head of blonde hair (well, full for our family anyway).

You’ve surprised us all with how much you eat and how quickly you’ve grown. You didn’t lose any weight after birth as most babies do, and at your 2-week checkup you had gained 2 lbs 2 oz and grown nearly 3 inches. The pediatrician’s assistant was so surprised she weighed & measured you twice to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake. You still like to eat every 2 hours (pretty much on the dot), and unlike Ella as a baby, you are able to handle all that your milk-blessed mama throws at you. Now at nearly two months old, you weigh 12 lbs, which puts you in the 95^th percentile for babies your age. We joke about your chubby cheeks and substantial double chin, but I am so glad to have a healthy baby with a healthy appetite.

Last week you started giving occasional smiles to your Daddy, but somehow Mama seemed to miss them all (though I’d seen you smile in your sleep lots of times). Yesterday you started smiling at me every time I talked to you, and even had to stop nursing a few times to smile up at me. Those first smiles are so thrilling to a mother – the first real interaction from a baby is such a miracle (of course we’ve been interacting for the past nearly eight weeks and even before that, but you know what I mean...). You’re entranced with the little toys we hang on your bouncy seat, and even reached out to grab one yesterday! When I place a toy in your little fist, you watch it intently, often so intently that you go comically cross-eyed as you bring it to your mouth.

It is so lovely to have such a pleasant, contented new baby around that I am saddened to think you may be our last. Daddy and I have always planned to have no more than two children, and the realization that I may not need the tiny little onesies, socks, and sleepers again breaks my heart a little each time I put one away as you grow out of them. Although I’m usually pretty exhausted at the end of the day after chasing an energetic and curious Ella, trying to keep the house relatively clean, and caring for you, it’s almost more than I can take to put you down. I want to remember every moment with you – the way your fuzzy little head feels under my chin as you lay on my chest, the glint in your blue eyes as you gaze up at me while you’re nursing, your funny little nose and tiny rosebud mouth, those chubby, chubby cheeks, and even your shrill new-baby cry (and occasional scream). If you are our last, I’ll be forever grateful for the opportunity to be your mama and glad to end my child-bearing on a high note.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing to me about having you is how great I felt so quickly after you were born and how fantastic I still feel. I didn’t have any baby blues at all, and in fact felt almost immediately like the low-lying clouds that had been hovering around for months parted and the sun came streaming in. I’m seeing the world in Technicolor again and feel better than I can remember feeling...well, almost ever. *This* is what it’s supposed to be like. I wake up in the morning looking forward to our day together, and despite the fact that I’m not getting lots of sleep, I feel rested and ready to tackle the day almost every morning. You have made me a better mother, a better wife, and a happier person. The love I have for you is fierce and almost more than my heart can hold. I hope I can give you even a fraction of what you’ve given me in your short eight weeks, and I am so looking forward to our next eight weeks together.

I love you, my sweet little Betty Marie.

Love,
Mama

Of Note:

Nicknames:

Ella calls you Betty Boo, Little Betts, Bright Eyes (“Bwight Eyes”), and My Baby and says about a hundred times a day, "My baby is soooo CUTE!";

Daddy calls you Nubsy, Little Nubbins, and Itty Betty;

Mama calls you Meep (the sound you made for the first few weeks when you had what we called “vapor lock” and would inhale sharply), Meepsie, Sweetie, and Little Love

Visitors:

Wah Wah Jill & Papa Steve visited you in the hospital the day you were born, then took Ella to their house for a couple of days while you and Daddy and I got settled in at home.

Wah Wah Jill stayed with us for the following week, and Great Aunt Jody and Great Aunt Jamie came to visit during that week.

Yaya (Great Grandma Miller) came late that week as well, as she just couldn’t stand waiting to meet you, and brought Great-Great Aunt Bertha with her. Poor Great Grandpa Peck and Great-Great Uncle Bob had to stay outside as they weren’t feeling well and we didn’t want to expose you.

Wah Wah Janet is coming to stay with us in three weeks and can’t wait to meet you! We’re so grateful she’s able to come so soon, as she just got a new job and had to get special permission for time off.

We're holding our breath hoping that Great Grandma Betty and Great-Great Aunt Marie will be able to make it for a visit in the next few months to meet their tiny namesake.