The hilarity just keeps on coming over here, so here's another snippets post, courtesy of Ella:
"Swear to God, slap my face again," said to her baby doll. (Go right ahead and put those Mother of the Year certificates in the mail...) My mom witnessed this one, and she told me Ella said it with the utmost tenderness and love, and was not in the least bit threatening. I think she maybe was trying to reassure me that Ella wasn't mimicking a horribly abusive mother.
"Sunabitch, my toe!" falling to the ground and holding her toe, mimicking what she had seen me do minutes earlier when she came running over to me and caught the top of my big toenail with the underside of her shoe and I was mortally wounded. She "sunabitch"'d one toe, then took off her other shoe and "sunabitch"'d the other. (Again, those certificates can be sent directly to me.)
Why I feel it's appropriate to post about my two-year-old's swearing sort of escapes me, especially since I'm the one she spends her days with and she's clearly not picking this up on PBS. For some reason I'm apparently totally willing to publicly implicate myself in all of this. For those of you who don't see Ella regularly, she really doesn't do this terribly often, but when she does it is so hilarious - mostly because she says these things in exactly the same way I do - that they're what I remember most and therefore what gets relayed to all of you. If you have children, I'm sure you'll understand how this sort of thing happens, and if you don't have children, why don't you just shut the hell up about my parenting skills?
I'll do my best to be a more civilized example, and in the meantime, I'll continue to share my slip-ups, courtesy of our little parrot Ella Mae.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Ella-isms
As a follow up to the last post, below are several of Ella's latest gems of wisdom. I was reminded to publish this post this evening, when Sean gave Ella a brand new toothbrush, complete with ladybugs, to hopefully help with the nightly toothbrushing battle. Ella's first order of business: brush her belly, poke herself in the eye (after I told her not to poke herself in the eye because it would probably hurt, apparently to make sure I was telling the truth), stick it in her buttcrack, and brush Maggie's teeth.
“It’s a nice sunny day!” She says this every time we’re outside in the sunshine.
“Yes, Mama!” Her standard reply whenever I call for her. It seems so grown-up coming from such a little person.
“I want to hold you,” said when she wants us to hold her.
“Good job, Daddy!” said to Sean when he finished mowing the lawn last weekend.
“Going to let him go back to his family,” said each and every time she lets a bug go. “Family” is pronounced, “fwamwy”.
“Thank you, Mama. That so nice.”
“I brushing my hair so pretty so we can go to the zoo. My friends will be so proud of me!” Said as she was brushing her hair on the morning we met our playgroup at, you guessed it, the zoo.
“OH! He’s so cute! I hold him *every* time,” said of a cute little squirrel at the zoo.
“I going outside for a couple of whiles.”
The other day Ella was playing with the side of the garbage bin in the kitchen, and when I asked her not to do it, she looked me and with a sigh of exasperation, said, “I do it all the time.”
After responding to Ella calling for me from the other room:
Ella: “Don’t yell at me.”
Me, a bit surprised: “I’m not yelling at you, honey.”
Ella: “You’re yelling at me for days.”
At the Asian market this week, I couldn’t find the rice noodles I was looking for, and Ella, seeing that I was a little bit frustrated, asked what was the matter. When I told her, she put her hands up, shook her head, and said, “Oh, damn!” Naturally there was a very nice couple right next to us, who will no doubt nominate me for Mother of the Year.
One night this week we were trying to get Ella to brush her teeth, a previously enjoyable task which has for some reason turned into a nightly throw-down. This week my tactic has been to sing songs about brushing, one of which has a line that repeats the phrase “tooth decay”. “I yike tootie cakes!” she declared at the end of the song. That obviously worked really well.
“It’s a nice sunny day!” She says this every time we’re outside in the sunshine.
“Yes, Mama!” Her standard reply whenever I call for her. It seems so grown-up coming from such a little person.
“I want to hold you,” said when she wants us to hold her.
“Good job, Daddy!” said to Sean when he finished mowing the lawn last weekend.
“Going to let him go back to his family,” said each and every time she lets a bug go. “Family” is pronounced, “fwamwy”.
“Thank you, Mama. That so nice.”
“I brushing my hair so pretty so we can go to the zoo. My friends will be so proud of me!” Said as she was brushing her hair on the morning we met our playgroup at, you guessed it, the zoo.
“OH! He’s so cute! I hold him *every* time,” said of a cute little squirrel at the zoo.
“I going outside for a couple of whiles.”
The other day Ella was playing with the side of the garbage bin in the kitchen, and when I asked her not to do it, she looked me and with a sigh of exasperation, said, “I do it all the time.”
After responding to Ella calling for me from the other room:
Ella: “Don’t yell at me.”
Me, a bit surprised: “I’m not yelling at you, honey.”
Ella: “You’re yelling at me for days.”
At the Asian market this week, I couldn’t find the rice noodles I was looking for, and Ella, seeing that I was a little bit frustrated, asked what was the matter. When I told her, she put her hands up, shook her head, and said, “Oh, damn!” Naturally there was a very nice couple right next to us, who will no doubt nominate me for Mother of the Year.
One night this week we were trying to get Ella to brush her teeth, a previously enjoyable task which has for some reason turned into a nightly throw-down. This week my tactic has been to sing songs about brushing, one of which has a line that repeats the phrase “tooth decay”. “I yike tootie cakes!” she declared at the end of the song. That obviously worked really well.
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