Photos coming soon, but for now, a few snippets, courtesy of our most hilarious member of the family:
Not Happy About It
Today I overheard Ella outside say sharply, "And I am not happy about it!" When she came in, I asked her what she wasn't happy about:
Me: Ella, I heard you say you're not happy about something. What are you not happy about?
Ella: Maggie stepped on the sunflower growing outside.
Me: Oh. And you told her you're not happy about it?
Ella: Yes, and I said, "dammit"!
I Didn't Say That!
We hear this multiple times every day. Apparently Ella thinks if she didn't mention something, it doesn't need to happen. For example, I might say, "Ella, it's time for lunch," to which she would likely reply, "I didn't SAY THAT!", with her arms pressed hard to her sides, little fists clenched and pointing toward the floor, chin jutting out as far as she can force it, and brows knitted furiously together. It's awesome.
Mudpuddles in the House
Ella ran through the house carrying a cup of water, which of course spilled all over the floor. I found her splashing in the puddles on the floor
Me: Ella, don't splash in it!
Ella: Why?
Me: Because it's not a mudpuddle.
Sean: Yeah, you need dirt to make a mudpuddle!
Me: !!!! Really, Dr. Ulm?
Ella: (running for the door) I need to get some dirt!
Fwiends
Ella is on a constant quest to find slugs outside, which she gingerly picks up and carries around, calling them her "fwiends". Other fwiends include worms, snails, beetles, flies, and some spiders (but not all of them, because some of them are "bitey"). The other day she brought in one of her friends, a gigantic earthworm. When I told her he couldn't live in the house, she was crestfallen and protested, "But Mama, he's my favowite fwiend!"
Mama's Milk
I took Betty to see a craniofacial specialist this week on the advice of our pediatrician, to make sure her lumpy little head is within normal range of lumpiness. (It is, and everything's fine.) After completing his brief examination of Betty's head, and commenting on Ella's incredibly large eyes (and asking whether my family or my husband's family have such large eyes...), the doctor turned to Ella and struck up a conversation. Ella's contribution? "My Betty drinks mama milk from Mama's BOOBIES!"
Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday, June 12, 2009
Sailor Ella
The hilarity just keeps on coming over here, so here's another snippets post, courtesy of Ella:
"Swear to God, slap my face again," said to her baby doll. (Go right ahead and put those Mother of the Year certificates in the mail...) My mom witnessed this one, and she told me Ella said it with the utmost tenderness and love, and was not in the least bit threatening. I think she maybe was trying to reassure me that Ella wasn't mimicking a horribly abusive mother.
"Sunabitch, my toe!" falling to the ground and holding her toe, mimicking what she had seen me do minutes earlier when she came running over to me and caught the top of my big toenail with the underside of her shoe and I was mortally wounded. She "sunabitch"'d one toe, then took off her other shoe and "sunabitch"'d the other. (Again, those certificates can be sent directly to me.)
Why I feel it's appropriate to post about my two-year-old's swearing sort of escapes me, especially since I'm the one she spends her days with and she's clearly not picking this up on PBS. For some reason I'm apparently totally willing to publicly implicate myself in all of this. For those of you who don't see Ella regularly, she really doesn't do this terribly often, but when she does it is so hilarious - mostly because she says these things in exactly the same way I do - that they're what I remember most and therefore what gets relayed to all of you. If you have children, I'm sure you'll understand how this sort of thing happens, and if you don't have children, why don't you just shut the hell up about my parenting skills?
I'll do my best to be a more civilized example, and in the meantime, I'll continue to share my slip-ups, courtesy of our little parrot Ella Mae.
"Swear to God, slap my face again," said to her baby doll. (Go right ahead and put those Mother of the Year certificates in the mail...) My mom witnessed this one, and she told me Ella said it with the utmost tenderness and love, and was not in the least bit threatening. I think she maybe was trying to reassure me that Ella wasn't mimicking a horribly abusive mother.
"Sunabitch, my toe!" falling to the ground and holding her toe, mimicking what she had seen me do minutes earlier when she came running over to me and caught the top of my big toenail with the underside of her shoe and I was mortally wounded. She "sunabitch"'d one toe, then took off her other shoe and "sunabitch"'d the other. (Again, those certificates can be sent directly to me.)
Why I feel it's appropriate to post about my two-year-old's swearing sort of escapes me, especially since I'm the one she spends her days with and she's clearly not picking this up on PBS. For some reason I'm apparently totally willing to publicly implicate myself in all of this. For those of you who don't see Ella regularly, she really doesn't do this terribly often, but when she does it is so hilarious - mostly because she says these things in exactly the same way I do - that they're what I remember most and therefore what gets relayed to all of you. If you have children, I'm sure you'll understand how this sort of thing happens, and if you don't have children, why don't you just shut the hell up about my parenting skills?
I'll do my best to be a more civilized example, and in the meantime, I'll continue to share my slip-ups, courtesy of our little parrot Ella Mae.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Ella-isms
As a follow up to the last post, below are several of Ella's latest gems of wisdom. I was reminded to publish this post this evening, when Sean gave Ella a brand new toothbrush, complete with ladybugs, to hopefully help with the nightly toothbrushing battle. Ella's first order of business: brush her belly, poke herself in the eye (after I told her not to poke herself in the eye because it would probably hurt, apparently to make sure I was telling the truth), stick it in her buttcrack, and brush Maggie's teeth.
“It’s a nice sunny day!” She says this every time we’re outside in the sunshine.
“Yes, Mama!” Her standard reply whenever I call for her. It seems so grown-up coming from such a little person.
“I want to hold you,” said when she wants us to hold her.
“Good job, Daddy!” said to Sean when he finished mowing the lawn last weekend.
“Going to let him go back to his family,” said each and every time she lets a bug go. “Family” is pronounced, “fwamwy”.
“Thank you, Mama. That so nice.”
“I brushing my hair so pretty so we can go to the zoo. My friends will be so proud of me!” Said as she was brushing her hair on the morning we met our playgroup at, you guessed it, the zoo.
“OH! He’s so cute! I hold him *every* time,” said of a cute little squirrel at the zoo.
“I going outside for a couple of whiles.”
The other day Ella was playing with the side of the garbage bin in the kitchen, and when I asked her not to do it, she looked me and with a sigh of exasperation, said, “I do it all the time.”
After responding to Ella calling for me from the other room:
Ella: “Don’t yell at me.”
Me, a bit surprised: “I’m not yelling at you, honey.”
Ella: “You’re yelling at me for days.”
At the Asian market this week, I couldn’t find the rice noodles I was looking for, and Ella, seeing that I was a little bit frustrated, asked what was the matter. When I told her, she put her hands up, shook her head, and said, “Oh, damn!” Naturally there was a very nice couple right next to us, who will no doubt nominate me for Mother of the Year.
One night this week we were trying to get Ella to brush her teeth, a previously enjoyable task which has for some reason turned into a nightly throw-down. This week my tactic has been to sing songs about brushing, one of which has a line that repeats the phrase “tooth decay”. “I yike tootie cakes!” she declared at the end of the song. That obviously worked really well.
“It’s a nice sunny day!” She says this every time we’re outside in the sunshine.
“Yes, Mama!” Her standard reply whenever I call for her. It seems so grown-up coming from such a little person.
“I want to hold you,” said when she wants us to hold her.
“Good job, Daddy!” said to Sean when he finished mowing the lawn last weekend.
“Going to let him go back to his family,” said each and every time she lets a bug go. “Family” is pronounced, “fwamwy”.
“Thank you, Mama. That so nice.”
“I brushing my hair so pretty so we can go to the zoo. My friends will be so proud of me!” Said as she was brushing her hair on the morning we met our playgroup at, you guessed it, the zoo.
“OH! He’s so cute! I hold him *every* time,” said of a cute little squirrel at the zoo.
“I going outside for a couple of whiles.”
The other day Ella was playing with the side of the garbage bin in the kitchen, and when I asked her not to do it, she looked me and with a sigh of exasperation, said, “I do it all the time.”
After responding to Ella calling for me from the other room:
Ella: “Don’t yell at me.”
Me, a bit surprised: “I’m not yelling at you, honey.”
Ella: “You’re yelling at me for days.”
At the Asian market this week, I couldn’t find the rice noodles I was looking for, and Ella, seeing that I was a little bit frustrated, asked what was the matter. When I told her, she put her hands up, shook her head, and said, “Oh, damn!” Naturally there was a very nice couple right next to us, who will no doubt nominate me for Mother of the Year.
One night this week we were trying to get Ella to brush her teeth, a previously enjoyable task which has for some reason turned into a nightly throw-down. This week my tactic has been to sing songs about brushing, one of which has a line that repeats the phrase “tooth decay”. “I yike tootie cakes!” she declared at the end of the song. That obviously worked really well.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I Don't Like Creamy Meat
"Ow. I bonked my noggin." 3/23/09
"No! I yike milk. I don't yike creamy meat," trying to convince me to give her milk instead of her breakfast of Cream of Wheat. 3/25/09
"AHHHH! Don't want Maggie to smell my fruit snack!" 3/22/09
"Ella do it by self." Every single day of our lives.
UPDATE:
I thought "creamy meat" would be the funniest thing I heard from Ella today, but apparently I was wrong. As I was laying down with her for a nap this afternoon, she was her usual crazy self and not exactly in nap mode, so after telling her several times that it was time to settle down, I held her up so she could see my face. In a very I-mean-business sort of voice, I said, "Ella Mae..." Without missing a beat, Ella said, "I swear to God!" So, I guess I'll cross that little phrase off of the list of things I can say around Ella.
"No! I yike milk. I don't yike creamy meat," trying to convince me to give her milk instead of her breakfast of Cream of Wheat. 3/25/09
"AHHHH! Don't want Maggie to smell my fruit snack!" 3/22/09
"Ella do it by self." Every single day of our lives.
UPDATE:
I thought "creamy meat" would be the funniest thing I heard from Ella today, but apparently I was wrong. As I was laying down with her for a nap this afternoon, she was her usual crazy self and not exactly in nap mode, so after telling her several times that it was time to settle down, I held her up so she could see my face. In a very I-mean-business sort of voice, I said, "Ella Mae..." Without missing a beat, Ella said, "I swear to God!" So, I guess I'll cross that little phrase off of the list of things I can say around Ella.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
What's It to Ya?
Some hilarity from the past couple of days:
"What to ya, Mama?", Ella's version of our standard reply of "what's it to ya?"
"Oh, Mama. So silly," Ella said as I was laughing at the above comment.
"Ella WILL!" said to her daddy when he told her to quit doing something she wasn't supposed to do.
"NO! Mama, turn 'round. Don't look. Ella busy picking nose," said when I turned around to see why she was so quiet in the car.
"Guy kick NUTS! Run away!" repeating part of a story she heard her daddy telling me, about a guy who fended off a mugger by kicking him in the groin.
"How are you a-day sir?" singing her favorite part of "Where is 'pumpkin'".
"Ella have fit! Hit Daddy. Get big pubble. Go out car." Rehashing our rather dramatic trip to Barnes and Noble.
"What to ya, Mama?", Ella's version of our standard reply of "what's it to ya?"
"Oh, Mama. So silly," Ella said as I was laughing at the above comment.
"Ella WILL!" said to her daddy when he told her to quit doing something she wasn't supposed to do.
"NO! Mama, turn 'round. Don't look. Ella busy picking nose," said when I turned around to see why she was so quiet in the car.
"Guy kick NUTS! Run away!" repeating part of a story she heard her daddy telling me, about a guy who fended off a mugger by kicking him in the groin.
"How are you a-day sir?" singing her favorite part of "Where is 'pumpkin'".
"Ella have fit! Hit Daddy. Get big pubble. Go out car." Rehashing our rather dramatic trip to Barnes and Noble.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Snippets from today
A few of Ella's gems today:
"Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAN," a song Ella made up about Peter Pan, sung complete with hilarious British accent, has evolved to, "Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAAAANTY," reflecting the recent potty training efforts.
"Good God, Maggie!" Exclaimed when Maggie emerged from the bathroom wet after a bath.
"I'm serious, Mama." (Serious pronounced "sewious".) Letting me know she would *really* like to have a tea party. Right now.
"Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAN," a song Ella made up about Peter Pan, sung complete with hilarious British accent, has evolved to, "Petah, Petah, Petah PAAAAAAAAANTY," reflecting the recent potty training efforts.
"Good God, Maggie!" Exclaimed when Maggie emerged from the bathroom wet after a bath.
"I'm serious, Mama." (Serious pronounced "sewious".) Letting me know she would *really* like to have a tea party. Right now.
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